I hope that love she gave you, was just enough to save you;

this is hurting me more than you know.

omg i can't believe this and i know you guys won't either. sabrina was in the group when they read the apology letter from me. and she told me that they were actually afraid of me! well all of them except rica. this is so unbelieveable. am i that scary-looking? HAHA. all i wrote was that was sorry and stuff and then they're afraid of me? they've got to wait for rica to tell them what to do before they can confront me. total losers i tell you. ann helped me realise that they are cowards actually. dominic scolded them once and now they're staying away from her. hahahaha and now dominic's my godbrother. so i don't think they'll even dare to touch me. okay that sounded kinda sick. neverminddddddddd.

well, i'm done being all emo cause of him. i still can't believe that i actually cut because of those cowards. what a waste of blood. well, i don't wanna care anymore. i can't cut anymore cause i promised my friends and my dearest 'family' that i won't. i don't want anyone else to worry bout me. i feel so bad for making you guys worry bout me. i'm fine, really i am. and i've been trying to smile and laugh alot. i've really been trying. but to tell you the truth, the harder i laugh, the more i wanna cry. i've accepted the fact that he's never coming back. and that things won't ever go back to what they used to be like in those 3 months we were together. yeah i know, 3 months is friggin short. and plus the fact that we only went out ONCE. i know you guys think that that's awfully pathetic, and i've got to agree. but when you love someone, the feelings don't fade so easily.

wheeeeeee now to talk about getting revenge. no it's not getting revenge on those cowards, but muhammad shaqif bte ahmad! muahahahahahah! well, aziela asked me if i wanted to get revenge on shaqif and i agreed. so she told me her plan. we'll spread rumours that he's gay or even looks gay and is only using his looks to get girls to fall for him. especially to those innocent sec 1s so that he can't target anyone else. and so far, the plans working so well! aziela's spread to the sec 1 dancers already and they're helping to spread it! wheeeeeeeeeeeeee revenge is sweet! i loveeeeeeeee aziela baby! i think this has help bring us closer and i realise aziela isn't that bad la. but i still dunno why she hates him so much.

i've been thinking bout it, and i realise heck! what's the point of waiting for this jerk? he doesn't care that you're cutting for him, or even crying for him. so why wait when you can move on and find someone who truely loves you? someone who loves you for who you are and not what you are. aren't i right? well now that i know i'm ready to move on all i gotta do is try not to think about him anymore. but for now, i'll just focus on not caring bout him. kinda feel bad cause he's still my friend. argh whatever.

i loveeeee this post cause it's so long. and i feel so much lighter now cause i've gotten so much off my chest and all over the place. hahahaha. i'm so full of shit. hah, he's gotten his retribution for breaking so many girl's hearts. how you ask? well, he went to lan and he signed into his msn account. then when he left, he forgot to sign out. so some guy came and deleted all his contacts. HAHAHA loser. well i think i'll end here. byeeeeeeeeeee darlings! (:

honey i love you but i guess you're not meant to be mine.

taste the bitterness inside at 6:03 PM;